Archive for August, 2012

Bring on the oaths!

An official letter was deposited on our doorstep yesterday.

Our government has decided to approve Beloved’s request for naturalization.


Photo by bayasaa under a Creative Commons License.


The process isn’t over yet. He’ll have to be invited to a ceremony and swear an oath, which will make him a citizen. After that, a passport will be made available to him.

We’re overjoyed to have the decision be favourable, obviously. We’re also really happy with the timing. The predicted timeline was six to eight months, but we got the good news only four months after filing the request. This gives us a lot of extra time for the process to obtain the greencard for me. We can file earlier and hopefully get the whole process over with early enough to leave us a few months to travel the world before settling down in Whicheveruniversitytown, USA.

Wicked, eh? Now I get to think about which countries we may want to go to.

A second passport for Beloved also the best possible insurance policy to many risks that come with emigration, because it means we can always travel back to a country in which we both know we can live and be happy. It means we can go live close to my family, should something happen to them. It significantly decreases the risk of the Beloved and I ever be separated by immigration authorities. It also increases the freedom to travel to places that.. may not look kindly upon entering the country with a US passport.

On a sentimental note, he can have his new passport say ‘spouse of smittenimmigrant’. Once I renew mine, it will certainly note – next to my unchanged maiden name – ‘spouse of Beloved’.

Photo by Jeff McNeill under a Creative Commons License.

The wife-stereotype: a colleague

Last week Beloved went off to another country for work related reasons.

When the weekend approached, I packed the unpaid project I am currently working on, some underwear and my toothbrush, went to sleep and left for work extra early the next day. A good nine hours later I wrapped up the work week and began the race to the airport  to catch a plane to where my husband happened to be.

The next morning I woke up early to put a few good hours of work into the  project I had brought. Beloved was dropped off at the hotel by a colleague around lunch time.

The following conversation was relayed to me:

C(olleague): “Hey, is it okay if I drop you off early? My holiday starts today and I don’t feel like working past noon.”

B(eloved): “Sure. Let me call my wife though. She came to join me for he weekend and she probably does not expect me this early.”

C: “Oh. She’s spending your money, huh..”

B: “…”

I get it, C. You’re a white man in a first world country. You have a well-paid job. You work in a male-dominated industry and (in this part of the world) in a white-male-dominated industry. Most of the people who are your colleagues follow the traditional, hetero-normative, baby-having pattern. You live in an area of the world and in a socio-economic class in which two incomes are not a necessity.

I understand that it is  likely that these types of remarks have previously worked well if you wanted to bond with a (white, male, supposedly heterosexual) colleague of yours. Nothing unites people more than a common enemy or, (in a part of the world in which war doesn’t really happen anymore) a communal subject to whine about.

But you’re a sexist douche canoe. And would have much appreciated meeting you so that I could have told you this to your face.

What it means to be married – a detail

Yesterday I was on my way home from work and decided to pick up food for dinner.

I bought the following:

– lettuce

– smoked chicken breast

– tomatoes

– cucumber

– bell pepper

– olives

I texted Beloved that I had obtained foodstuffs and got on the train. Twenty minutes later, my phone buzzed with a text in reply: Oops, I got us food too.

Upon arriving home, we compared our purchases so that we could decide what to eat. Beloved showed me what he had bought:

–  lettuce

– smoked chicken breast

– tomatoes

– cucumber

– bell pepper

– olives

We will be eating salad for at least half of this week.