What to wear..

So, Saturday was “Visit Designer Uncle Day”. I love him for the offer of making me an outfit (and I loved him regardless because he’s my uncle and he’s creative, a genius fashion designer who is bad at business and crazy and gay and my mom’s twin brother and.. well.. ) He is also pretty good at what many of my feminist friends would call ‘body policing’. And ever since the day where he greeted early-twenties-me with “Wow, your thighs have gotten enormous!”, I’ve been a bit weary of his remarks. Still, he made me a floor length, zebra print prom dress back in the day which stunned everyone (me included) and I have full faith in his ability to create something for me that makes me awesomely-stunning-me-with-a-bridal-touch, and not unrecognizable-me-in-an-uncomfortable-overly-feminine-pile-of-tulle.

So, we went, my mom and I. And uncle said he had a hard time making sense of the pictures I sent him because some were ‘hardcore-powersuits’ and them some were ‘completely romantic’, adequately capturing my dilemma with Google Picture search. I want a bit of a powersuit and a bit of romance, a dash of genderbending flair and a bit of showing off my thunder thighs, childbearing hips, awesome waist line and recently-developed-thank-you-for-two-cupsizes-IUD-tits. And a hat. Because damnit, there is not a hat in the world that looks bad on me and what better opportunity to wear an awesome hat than at the wintery wedding of the most awesome man in the world and me. He’ll be wearing one too. Cuz that’s how we roll.

Anyway. Uncle drew me stuff and we talked and I vetoed some things and proposed others and we came to an agreement and I think it will be awesome. I’m not going to tell you guys precisely what I’ll be wearing, but I’ll give one spoiler. Before the fitting of the ‘toile’, I need to have a pair of purple boots. That’s right. I’ll be getting married in purple boots. And it will be glorious and and beautiful and a little painful and I will love the man forever (and hug him and pet him and squeeze him and call him husband!).


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